The Courage !!!!

Letting go of someone you love is never easy. The truth of it is, once any bond is made it's hard to break that bond. Just like welding, when two things are bonded together, to get them apart something has to be broken. When people bond they bond at their heart, so unfortunately, when you break a bond you're heart is where the bond has to be broken, thus the pain of heartbreak. There are so many times in life when you have to let go of someone you love, but that doesn't mean letting go of love.
It almost been a year and i still can't let go. I've question myself many times. What is going on with me?? There's a guy who very care and concern me but why do my heart still keep holding to the past? It is so hurt to face reality that i have to keep going on without you at my side. 
The most painful experience in life is to let go of someone you love. Everybody has somebody whom they love unconditionally. To create this bond, a strong relationship is created from very early years.
LOVE - What exactly is LOVE? How am I supposed to let go of someone I love, if I'm not even sure what love is? As for letting it go, well, I'm not sure I've ever had hold of it in the first place. What is love anyway? You see I thought love was my friend. I thought it was, no, IS, my BEST FRIEND.
INSECURITY - It's one of the most terrifying emotions in existence. I know what insecurity feels like, and I've no doubt what so ever, ,I have it. Is it a disease? Perhaps it's a bacterial infection, and by simply taking some sort of antibiotic, it will just, go away. Then again, maybe it won't. What I do know is; I don't trust love. Trust must be missing. I suppose I need to let go of love, because they say, "If you LOVE, let love go. If love comes back to you, it's yours. If love does not return, it was never yours to begin with.
Ending a relationship is hard to do, no matter what the relationship your ending entailed. Sometimes even quitting a job that you hate can be hard, if you like the people you work with. It isn't so much the relationship ending that is the hard part, it is usually the change that comes from ending a relationship that is what is hard. The routine that you establish during a relationship can become comforting, and gives you a sense of normalcy. When that sense of normalcy is broken, it can feel like life itself is strange, and you scramble for that sense of normal to come back.
I still missing our old times. I'm not dare to step forward cause i know every moment, every thing i do is remind me of you. I'm lost. I actually don't know what love meaning to me. If i be able to know i'm sure i won't be so suffering. I know is my fault and i'm also know that we cannot turn back time. I really wish we can turn back to normal but what i can do now is let God arrange everything. What i wanted to do is run away from tis place. Is too much memory about me and you. I really wanted to run away !!!!

My Off Day !!^^

It's Sunday and is my off day !!!! Trying to get my ass out from my bed.Me and my bestie Queenie been planning for a bridal hopping. She need to get a Cheong Sam for her annual dinner. Wake up at 11.00 pm but when we get ready to go out from the house, is already 2.00 pm. Hahahahha...... Straight we head down to town and visited for few bridal shop.
When my first move, step into the bridal shop,  i had a feeling that I've never had before. The feeling is so warm and when i see every of the couple inside choosing the gown, the smile of their face is different. The wedding gown is so nice and the picture of the couple is so sweet. All the while i was thought that a marriage is just procedure to verify the status is to be husband and wife. Taking picture, wedding ceremony, having dinner is a troublesome matter.
Now i know, is more than that. When the day, the bride wearing the gown the feeling is not the same. Is not a troublesome matter. Is not just a status only. 
We been going few of the bridal shop and end up have to try those dinner dress because no much option of the Cheong Sam. Some are very nice but very expensive. The dress that she found it nice about RM600.00. Wearing for 1 night and have to return to back. End up, she decided to bought a dress at KL. We did not take any picture because they not allowed us to do  :( but she already bought a very beautiful dress at KL. 
After that we had our lunch + dinner at secret garden about 5PM. There is a very nice place to chill. To had our dinner, happy hour and chilling with wine there. 

Been trying to steal the picture from other website. Because i din take picture  :p

It look more nice when at night with the lights :)

the mushroom soup.... hmmm... quite nice. The soup is smooth but a little too much milk  ♥

Just a simple salmon salad but the taste is nice  :)

Cabonara pasta with mushroom....  I  ♥ cabonara very much.... and i know is FAT!!!!

Never take this picture but wanna intro few of the dishes there. This is what they call four season. 4 Season - A set of four types of sandwiches; Salmon with capers on toasted baguette, Salad sandwich of mixed greens stuffed in a pita pocket, English Sandwich with a squared sunny side up, and the Steak Sandwich between whole-grain bread.

At last but not least, after eat of coz we need a drink that can relax ...... I've been heading to a club at ipoh garden east called LAVISH. Is a new bar in Ipoh. 

My medicine to get sleep better  :)

L.O.V.E for me !!!^^

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

Changes !!!! ^^

Let's face it... we've changed. We all changed. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, we've gone in our own directions. Hearts were broken, friends diminished, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We've changed -- some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though we've changed, we all know that even though we're all finding our own place in the world, that when we find out love, when we let go of a love, when the tears fall, or the happy smile spreads across our face... we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will ever change so much to the point that we'll be friends forever.

I believe there's so many different ways to be connected to new people and see new thing that i wanted. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people you've known forever, who know you in this way that other people can't, because they've seen you change, and they've let you change.

Sometimes there are things in our life that aren't meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you'll ever have to do, but sometimes it's saying 'hello again' that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you'll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life.

Sleepless Night :)

I've been suffering insomnia since the day you left me till today.... I thought i'm brave enough to handle of all this hurt feeling. Recently, i started to miss you a lot and i don't even know why. All of our memories are playing inside my head......Broken heart again. Another lesson learned. Better know your friends or i will get burned.
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why. The memories is really make me pain even till now. 
Of course i knew that i'll going to get heart broken when i get with you. And it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. That's just part of growing up, i knew that it will makes me stronger. Then i can handle it better next time. I may not get through it myself, but friends will help me through it. And i'll be a stronger person because of it. Then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break my heart again.
Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.
I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore. I'm still waiting for the day......
I lay here at night, trying to fall asleep but each time I close my eyes,memories of you flash through my mind but then I open my eyes and welcome myself back to reality because I know now, you and I weren't ever really meant to be.  Why do I waste my time? Why is it that you're so damn irreplaceable?
I think it's time that I let you go. And it's really hard for me to do because I know that there's a part of me that will be in love with you for the rest of my life but i really  want to try my best to let you go bcoz i dun wanna cry anymore....  :(

Thanks for the comment ^^

Thanks everyone for the comment you left here, thanks for liking my blog  =) 
Never thought or expect anyone would like it, coz i just wish this is the only place that i could tell whenever i did not know where or who am i suppose to talk too.......
Been too long not updated my blog, actually a lot of things happen and get tired with the work that i had now. It's really stress and tired. Trying to make myself to update the blog  =)

Love is Magic ~~~

Some say that we are born to love and that love is the meaning and the aim of our lives. Many people believe that it’s a divine magical power that connects two loving hearts. For ages people have been thinking of what love is, writing books and song about love, in the recent time – shooting movies all on the same topic. Christians would say that God teaches us to love each other, the most skeptical materialists would blame it all on the chemical processes and hormones, romantic people would stand for the theory that each of us has his or her half on the Earth. Whatever love really is – the humanity definitely loves it.

Love is opposite to selfishness, because it’s always heading to some other person but you. It’s the highest point of human’s relations development. One voluntary gives up a great part of his/her own freedom. Love is giving by it’s nature. Person feels satisfaction and happiness not from receiving but from and seeing one happy. Two individuals completing one another form some spiritual union in which one is happy because the other’s is happy and one knows that he or she loves because he or she knows he/she would do anything it takes to make the other.

Love has it’s magical power to overcome all troubles, heal illnesses, create wonders. In critical life situations it gives people the strength to survive, to hold on however tough the living gets. And it all comes from the knowledge that you’re not alone in this world.

But everyone should mind that love arises not between angels but between people with all their little sins and flows. So the mistakes, problems and conflicts in love are in fact normal, they all come from our human’s nature. But the clear feeling of love is worth all the troubles one has to walk through to gain it. As we know Rome wasn’t built in a day, the same thing with love. There’s not any perfect art of loving. It’s always a road laid with  compromises, everyday battle – not with the one you love, but with yourself. That’s how love makes us better. For everyone this way is personal. You can never predict how the relationships will develop but it’s in your ability to make it better.

Some say that love lives free years, other theory gives love one more year, some don’t give it any chance. Very many people believe that a family is a grave of love. So the negative prognoses are plenty. But still there stay some true believers. And deep in the heart many of us would like to believe and do believe in love. Because it has some magic in it and all the attempts to explain and to define it are failures.

Love makes clever people loose their mind and silly ones it makes genius. Love is paradoxical in very many aspects. There are statements that love is always happiness even when it’s unhappy and at the same time  that there’s both nothing worse and nothing better than it. Another variant is that you never lived till you loved, and that love is the key to life and the sense of it. We may cite very many sayings and examples. They all are true and none is final. In one thing we can be sure: one who loves sees the world in the different way when all others, things look brighter, birds sing louder, life shows itself in it’s completeness.