I'm missing him ♥♥....

Everytime i'm going for a drink, i'm sure miss him a lot. Trying to sms him, but when he no reply me. Tere's 2 way i giving myself explanation which is he dun wan reply me coz he drinking outside or he is sleeping. Yup. rite now i'm drinking and i'm terribly  missing him. As a girl, i'm not suppose too obvious telling him that i love him or miss him. 

As other people said, he might not serious with me and i should not take it so serious if not i will get hurt. When i'm not drinking, i can control myself. But whenever i start drinking, i can't control myself to sms him and i wanted tell him that i miss him and love him so much. My deep heart is scare. I'm so scare coz i really serious with him even though whole world telling me how bad he is. 
When a man is in love he wants to be with the woman of his desires more than he wants to be with anyone else. He din show that he wants to be with me. Only i'm the one who show that i need him so much. And i'm asking myself, what i should do???

I know he's not this kind playful person. He is just experience something that he never had b4. Tats why his attitude will be like that. Maybe people will said i just giving myself a reason. Whatever it is...... I'm just had a sincere heart and i love him truly...... Mayb he is not..... who's know????? 

I know what i should do just i'm not willing to do it. I know is kinda stupid. Hope he will change because of me but i know guys wont change bcoz of a girl unless he truly love her. I know love is not blinded just tat we not willing to know more and pretend nothing happen. I really wish he oso had a sincere heart to me. 

I'm not drunk but i really wanted to tell him how much i miss him. I really hope he at my side now  :(

Even he coming back tmr but i think i din get a chance to meet him............