Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sleepless Night :)

I've been suffering insomnia since the day you left me till today.... I thought i'm brave enough to handle of all this hurt feeling. Recently, i started to miss you a lot and i don't even know why. All of our memories are playing inside my head......Broken heart again. Another lesson learned. Better know your friends or i will get burned.
A breakup can be one of the most painful experiences in life. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee ~ it hurts. It requires a lot of personal reflection and change. It's never easy. You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why. The memories is really make me pain even till now. 
Of course i knew that i'll going to get heart broken when i get with you. And it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. That's just part of growing up, i knew that it will makes me stronger. Then i can handle it better next time. I may not get through it myself, but friends will help me through it. And i'll be a stronger person because of it. Then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break my heart again.
Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone. Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.
I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore. I'm still waiting for the day......
I lay here at night, trying to fall asleep but each time I close my eyes,memories of you flash through my mind but then I open my eyes and welcome myself back to reality because I know now, you and I weren't ever really meant to be.  Why do I waste my time? Why is it that you're so damn irreplaceable?
I think it's time that I let you go. And it's really hard for me to do because I know that there's a part of me that will be in love with you for the rest of my life but i really  want to try my best to let you go bcoz i dun wanna cry anymore....  :(

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