Let Go~~

Telling myself to let go many times. So, decide to continue wif my journey and new people. So, i decide to accept him. Being with him i'm sure he is the right person that i want to look for. He really care and love me much. I will going to stay wif him for another 3 more weeks.
I always think that i would sacrifice everything just to be with my love one. I suppose i can get promoted in this company. Even not a higher post but i decide to give up everything and start my new life with him. I hope this is my right choices because i do not want disappointed again.Do i sound silly? I admit that.... because i'm serious in every relationship.
Looking back my ex picture, he already with another girl. The girl that they used to be together behind me. I'm so angry. Many people said i still can't let go coz i still love him. Relationship almost 4 years plus and is really hard for me to let go coz i really put a lot of effort in it and we experience a tough life. When i think back, i ask myself 1 question. Give myself a reason that i still can't let go. A man who hiding behind me with another girl, A man who won't at home wif me alwiz and drinking outside without bringing me, A man would never listen my words when he drunk and he only listen to his sister words, what is my place in his heart? All this kind of question let me know that no matter how long i'm still with him, he no longer love me. It just a habit to be with me. So now he choose the girl that all the while hiding behind me.
When i think back of this kind of thing, my dear at the same time will text me. He told me how much he miss me, how much he love me, he promise to give me a good life, he promise me he won't let me to experience my past story. I really started love this guy a lot. He put me at first in his heart. Whatever he do, he will think about me first before him. Even i don't really like his past but (past is past) we can't change it. I got past too. So, i accept his past and being with him now =)
We both are far away and can't be together with him always. So, most of the time i will be so emo and alwiz think negative and think about past. I know there's something i should let go and moving forward. That's why i hate to be alone. I will keep on emo. Counting day 3 more weeks to go.....  I love my baby much...i just need more time to erase all this unhappy thing.