Saturday Nitez

Having a glass of red wine, listening the song that i like the most. What i need now is a place. Hope i can standing near the beach listening to the wave and enjoying the night view. Having a deep breath and feel the wind and awaiting the sunset. Unfortunately i'm inside my room, with the laptop and writing my mood and feeling in my blog  :)

A very silent nite, it make me feel like i'm back to the day i'm at kl. When i feel i could not breath at all, i will stand at the balcony having a deep breath and telling myself i'm doing good and every time is a good time. Listening a soft voice and a heart to heart session with my friend whenever we got a chance to meet each other. 

Can't expected saturday night i'm at home but i din feel wanna go out though coz mummy at hospital rite now. Hope god bless her, and recover soon. I can't sleep tonight coz i know tomorrow i'm gonna see him. I suppose to feel happy and get excited. Yup, i can't sleep coz i'm excited to see him but not tat really happy. I really hate myself sometimes. Why i can't just be brave when i see him? I really think a lot to choose post up this blog a not coz i'm scare.

I didn't mention a lot of my feeling here coz i know YOU will see my blog. I don't wish you get hurt coz when i know when you with another i oso will feel terrible sad. I can't believe the moment now  we become a stranger. 

I think i slowly back to my old days habit. Hiding inside the room, don't feel to meet anyone, don't feel to pick up call and i just wanna be alone. I really have awful feeling at the moment. Gosshhh.... i really don't wish i back to this habit again. 

I know that i need to change coz i'm all alone rite now. I can't depend on anyone but just myself. I have to change myself and have to be independent. So, GAMBATEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!